The Anatomy of a Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwich

My coworker walked in the other day eating a PB&J (peanut butter and Jam to those who live in caves but still have Internet access.) when I noticed one of my pet-peeves. It was an improperly made PB&J! For those who haven't speculated on the various ways that two slices of fluffy carbohydrates, mashed peanut product and sugarfied fruit pulp can be combined, much less hypothesized that there might be a better way to bring them all together, I will enlighten you.
1. Bread
Let us start with the foundation of the standard PB&J, bread. The bread should be firm. None of the airy gauze that some companies try to pass off as real bread. (i.e. Wonder, Sara Lee). You need something with more strength than tissues to make a proper sandwich. I like Harper Homemade. Not only is it firm and delicious, it is relatively inexpensive and has no high fructose corn syrup in it. Choose two matched slices from the inner part of the loaf. Reach past the "heel" and its next door hunch-backed neighbor (leaving them there as a buffer against the rest of the bread from drying out) and get some of the good stuff. Open the two slices like a book so that they are mirror images of each other. This insures a good fit when you reassemble your masterpiece. Get a good spreading knife and you are ready for step two.

2. Peanut Butter.
The peanut butter you choose is vitally important to making a good sandwich. There are people who are missing out on some sinful taste bud pleasure due to bad peanut butter choices in their youth. I had a girlfriend in high school who hated PB&J because her father bought army surplus peanut butter to save money! They kept it in a five gallon bucket under the counter and could have cured the peanut butter cravings of a third world country by passing out samples of that rancid crap and making them never want to eat a peanut again. This is an area where you shouldn't skimp. Good peanut butter is worth the extra money. Peter Pan is a good brand, but the best is Skippy Natural. It has three ingredients: Peanuts, palm oil and sugar.(nothing unpronounceable) I like the Super Chunky. (Make sure the first thing you do when you open the jar is make a smiley face so that all the sandwiches thereafter will be happy.)

Using about 2 Tbsp. (recommended serving size) spread the peanut butter evenly on BOTH slices. Make sure you get all the way to the edges. This is the barrier between your bread and jam, preventing an inevitable mush if the two combine.(This is what my coworker failed to do. I could actually see the soggy mess of the top of his bread.)
3. Jam
First the difference between jelly and jam. Jelly is made from fruit juice only. Jam is fruit pulp. Preserves have chunks of fruit in it. This is another place where spending alittle bit more is worth it.(though you can get good preserves for great prices if you look around.) A masterpiece should be made with the best.
You want your jam to be proportionate to your peanut butter. About a 1:1 ratio. Spread evenly. Too little and it's stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth city. Too much and three bites into your masticular joy the sandwich poops onto your shirt and you look like my four-year-old.

3. Assembly
Reverently place the two halves together and slightly press around the edges to prevent any especially suicidal blobs from going lemmings
onto your shirt.
Now enjoy!!








Smiles for everyone!