Tahwimby

4 songs only played at Christmas that aren't about Christmas

2009-12-20T23:37:00.002-07:00

I love the Christmas season and I love Christmas music during this time of year, but there seems to be some confusion down at the radio station as to what constitutes a Christmas song. There are several that I only hear this time of year, but are void on any reference to Christmas at all.

1. "The Peanuts Theme"

I don't know why this gets played on the radio at Christmas. I like Charlie Brown and the gang, but come on, it is just a repeated piano rhythm and some maracas. Yet, every year I hear this several times through out the season.

2. "My Favorite Things"

Every year, my parents made us watch "The Sound of Music" when it came on TV. Although I enjoy it now, it was a drag when I was 11. Again I am baffled as to what this song has to do with Christmas. Maybe it's the presents? I don't know.

3. "Winter Wonderland"

This one is almost a prerequisite if you make a Christmas CD, but it doesn't talk about Christmas. It is all about winter and how wonderful it is to sit by the fire and make snowmen and have an imaginary wedding, but for some reason as soon a Christmas is over. Bam! No more "Winter Wonderland"!

4. "Jiggle Bells"

If you stop a person on the street and ask them to name a Christmas song you will get a good percentage of them that say "Jiggles Bells" even though Christmas isn't mentioned once. Look up the lyrics yourself if you don't believe me.
There are more versions and homages to this song then you can count (including "Jingle Bell Rock") but I think I like Barbara Streisand's version best even though I find it funny to hear Jewish singers belting out Christmas music.

5. "Last Christmas" by Wham

I know I said 4 songs, but this one needs to be included, because even though it mentions Christmas, it is just about a loser getting dumped by his girlfriend on Boxing Day and brooding about it all year before he comes up with some zinger lyrics to get back at her. In spite of it being a break up song it is included in all radio DJ's Christmas lists.

I can make dinner. (If you really want me to.)

2009-02-23T19:12:00.003-07:00

My wife is having a bad day. No problem, as a caring husband I am there to step up to the plate and take charge. She usually handles it all but I can do it too.

I start by being the referee to the kids. Simple, send them downstairs to clean the family room. Ignore the screams and the sounds of high explosives amid shouts of whose toy belongs to whom and "Get off the blanket. I am trying to fold it."

Next, make dinner. I have never really learned how to cook but I do have a few "specialties". I tell my wife that I can make waffles for dinner. (definitely a specialty!) But alas, she informs me that the kids haven't had any vegetables today. Since grilling your spouse on what the kids have eaten when I know that she is having a bad day isn't conductive to a healthy lifestyle, I say, "Sure. I can make something else."

Door number two. "Stir fry." It's not really stir fry. I just call it that because I stir it as it fries. Start by cooking two cups of rice. While that is steaming, defrost polish kielbasa and cube it. cook that in the APP (All Purpose Pan) until it has crispy edges. Pour in a bag a frozen mixed veggies and top it with your freshly steamed rice. Stir it in the pan until it is all warm.

I sometimes wish that I was on one of those cooking shows where everything is already in little pre-measured bowls and someone else does the dishes, but my reality differs.

My little one doesn't help clean downstairs. She likes to help cook. My oldest spends all his time begging the little one to come and help. He works so hard at it that if he would just focus that time into actual cleaning that he would been done already. The kitchen is a mess so I clean enough to make dinner. I can do the rest later.

Dinner is a success! That simply means that everyone eats it without Mom and Dad having to resort to begging, coercion, or threats. Send the kids down to get pajamas on while my wife takes a bath. Send the kids back down to "Get your pajamas on!" Thus, finishes another day. Whew!

The Wall-E future may not so unrealistic...

2008-11-24T16:18:00.009-07:00

I took my family to see the movie Wall-E when it was in theaters and I enjoyed it, in spite of the reviews. Apparently many people were annoyed at how the humans in Wall-E were portrayed. "We could never become a mass of bloated, unable to stand, introverts," they cry, "We will never become like that....why yes, I would like to super-size my value meal."

"Hmmm, my appointment is two blocks away and it's hard to walk and eat at the same time...TAXI!!"

Though it seems that Toyota saw Wall-E and immediately latched onto this scene and thought, "what a great idea. We should build one of those. It would really bring people together."

Now, just a short time later they present the i-REAL mobility vehicle

The awesome guys from Top Gear give us the scoop.

I love the question Richard asks at 1:25 and then at 3:00 he starts to sound like he could be pitching the idea to Wall-E's bosses at B&L to put on their spaceships.

Thanksgiving is almost here, so what gives??

2008-11-19T18:07:00.004-07:00

We went to the store shortly after Halloween and I felt as though I had stepped through a time portal and skipped ahead a month.
They had in the front of the store a CHRISTMAS TREE!!! The gardening area was converted to sell Christmas stuff and they were playing "Sleigh Ride" over the loud speaker.

Don't get me wrong I love the Christmas season as much as anyone, but skipping right over Thanksgiving is terribly wrong. This is a time to reflect on being grateful for what we have and bridging the gap between Summer and Winter. Yards get raked, lawns mowed for the last time of the year, children having to be reminded to take their jackets when they leave the house.
But most of all there is a peace that pervades the air. Almost a calm before the storm. A time to prepare for the craziness of the Holiday season that usually picks up after Thanksgiving. All this early launch of the Christmas season does is add to the commercialization of the holiday and detracts for a special time for true thanksgiving, while prematurely winding up the tensions that lead up to Christmas. Let's keep Thanksgiving as its own holiday. We have a whole month to get ready for Christmas.

Which classic arcade game are you?

2008-11-08T13:06:00.001-07:00

I was taking this quiz with my wife and when the results popped up she says, "What's Dig Dug?" (GASP!!) "What?!?! You have never heard of Dig Dug?" I exclaimed, in horror! The only thing to do was show her. The next half hour of my life was spent here.

John Williams is the man!!!

2008-11-07T10:43:00.003-07:00

I love John's Williams' musical scores. All of them are distinct, yet stunning. I also love the original Star Wars Trilogy. Thus this video is awesome on so many levels.

Even though Corey Vidal makes a great video he doesn't sing the song. That is done by the awesome barbershop quartet "Moosebutter" (bonus points for the cool name) Go to their website and listen to some of their great work.

Found via neatorama

The Anatomy of a Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwich

2008-10-21T20:00:00.000-06:00

My coworker walked in the other day eating a PB&J (peanut butter and Jam to those who live in caves but still have Internet access.) when I noticed one of my pet-peeves. It was an improperly made PB&J! For those who haven't speculated on the various ways that two slices of fluffy carbohydrates, mashed peanut product and sugarfied fruit pulp can be combined, much less hypothesized that there might be a better way to bring them all together, I will enlighten you.
1. Bread
Let us start with the foundation of the standard PB&J, bread. The bread should be firm. None of the airy gauze that some companies try to pass off as real bread. (i.e. Wonder, Sara Lee). You need something with more strength than tissues to make a proper sandwich. I like Harper Homemade. Not only is it firm and delicious, it is relatively inexpensive and has no high fructose corn syrup in it. Choose two matched slices from the inner part of the loaf. Reach past the "heel" and its next door hunch-backed neighbor (leaving them there as a buffer against the rest of the bread from drying out) and get some of the good stuff. Open the two slices like a book so that they are mirror images of each other. This insures a good fit when you reassemble your masterpiece. Get a good spreading knife and you are ready for step two.

2. Peanut Butter.
The peanut butter you choose is vitally important to making a good sandwich. There are people who are missing out on some sinful taste bud pleasure due to bad peanut butter choices in their youth. I had a girlfriend in high school who hated PB&J because her father bought army surplus peanut butter to save money! They kept it in a five gallon bucket under the counter and could have cured the peanut butter cravings of a third world country by passing out samples of that rancid crap and making them never want to eat a peanut again. This is an area where you shouldn't skimp. Good peanut butter is worth the extra money. Peter Pan is a good brand, but the best is Skippy Natural. It has three ingredients: Peanuts, palm oil and sugar.(nothing unpronounceable) I like the Super Chunky. (Make sure the first thing you do when you open the jar is make a smiley face so that all the sandwiches thereafter will be happy.)

Using about 2 Tbsp. (recommended serving size) spread the peanut butter evenly on BOTH slices. Make sure you get all the way to the edges. This is the barrier between your bread and jam, preventing an inevitable mush if the two combine.(This is what my coworker failed to do. I could actually see the soggy mess of the top of his bread.)
3. Jam
First the difference between jelly and jam. Jelly is made from fruit juice only. Jam is fruit pulp. Preserves have chunks of fruit in it. This is another place where spending alittle bit more is worth it.(though you can get good preserves for great prices if you look around.) A masterpiece should be made with the best.
You want your jam to be proportionate to your peanut butter. About a 1:1 ratio. Spread evenly. Too little and it's stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth city. Too much and three bites into your masticular joy the sandwich poops onto your shirt and you look like my four-year-old.

3. Assembly
Reverently place the two halves together and slightly press around the edges to prevent any especially suicidal blobs from going lemmings
onto your shirt.
Now enjoy!!

Smiles for everyone!

Twilight. A book for guys?!?!

2008-10-14T18:01:00.001-06:00

Just about every female relation that I have has read or is reading Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. Consequently I am frequently surrounded by talk as to whether Edward or Jacob is cuter, (It's Edward according to my wife) if they could stand to be around Alice, and if the movie will be as good as the book. I am "Jasper," by the way, according to a "What Twilight character are you" quiz.

Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

When my wife first read Twilight she practically begged me to read it. So I decided to and....... I enjoyed it! Needless to say the lovey-dovey stuff got on my nerves once and a while, (Bella is constantly thinking how GORGEOUS Edward is. Gag!) but the vampire parts of it were very good. There is plenty of action and vampire against vampire fighting to satisfy the testosterone inducing part of a guy's brain and it all flows together in to an excellent story if you can ride out the mushy parts. I have read all the books and am especially anticipating the movie that comes out on Nov. 21st. I have also read "The Host". It is Meyer's book that has an invaded by aliens story-line which I enjoyed even more (Gasp!!) than the Twilight series. All in all, any guy can read Twilight and still be macho enough to open his own jar of pickles. For those that are already feeling weird just reading this here is an injection of manliness.

Yarrr!!

2008-09-19T11:48:00.000-06:00

It be talk like a pirate day.

My pirate name is:

Dirty Sam Roberts

Two things complete your pirate persona: style and swagger. A swashbuckler of epic proportions! Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Now, go swab the poop deck ye scurvy dogs!

I get it from my mom.

2008-09-04T21:34:00.000-06:00

I went to one of my favorite places today. The Utah State University Surplus store! I don't know what it is, but I like to look at old junk for sale. They have rows of old computers and monitors, tables, desks, and misc. stuff that is fun to look at. They are having their public sale next week and I went today and scoped out the good stuff. They have an old centrifuge for $10 that I am hoping to get and make a honey extractor out of. There are also several other sweet things that we might get. My mother is a major bargain hunter and I think that gene has gotten passed on to me. I almost can't help to stop when I see a garage sale. I even go to thrift stores and just browse. If I do buy it is usually books and cool old electronics. I'll post some pictures of what I get.

Update: Here are my finds. The two cetrifuges were $10 each, the chair was $5 and the bookshelf was $10. Yahoo!

I have a less-than-super power!

2008-07-22T19:53:00.000-06:00

I am a S.L.I.der. I have been one for several years now. It all started when I noticed that street lights would turn off when I drove under them. I didn't think anything of it, but it started happen more and more frequently. Sometimes it would be three or four lights in a row. My wife thought I was imagining it at first until we were riding in the car together and several went out in one trip. I asked my older brother (who is an electrical engineer) about it and got a vague explanation about light reflecting off of my glasses or windshield and hitting the sensor on the street light.

Like the majority of S.L.I.ders I am unable to control it. So if you want a street light to go out you will have better luck talking to the Headmaster of Hogwarts than to a S.L.I.der.

Like other S.L.I.ders I have a few side effects from it. My bank card sometimes doesn't work and wearing a battery operated watch is out. It took me a while to realize this. I just thought my watch batteries were all retarded.

Light bulbs are always going out at my house, even the long life florescent ones. With a long life light bulb, I am lucky if it will work for 6 months. Before those light bulbs came along, we had to change them ALL THE TIME.

I guess I should consider myself fortunate that my SLIder tendancies aren't as bad as some. Some people have it strong enough that merely walking past an electronic toy can turn the toy on. Yeah, freaky, I know.

I think that the worst part of being a S.L.I.der is getting shocked by things. I am always getting zapped by cars, metal things, electronics, and people. It wouldn't be so bad if it was a light shock like when you scuff you feet on the carpet in woolly socks and touch the doorknob. No, these shocks hurt! Often my hand or arm aches afterwards for several minutes.

I can sometimes see the sparks jumping from my fingers. Not just little flashes either, we're talking Jacob's Ladder size sparks. I had a lady tell me once that my internal energy needs to be realigned. I wonder if I can get them focused so I can use it at will, though I will only use my powers for good or for awesome.

Unlike this guy.

More like this one.
Well, until I harness my powers I'll just have to deal with it. You'll find me in the electronics section rubbing my arm.

My daughter played the part of an atomic bomb

2008-07-14T21:52:00.000-06:00

Cutesy Buttons had her 4 year check up today. This means that she got four booster shots in preperation for starting school next year. She was a little confused when we told her that she had to go get shots at the doctor. "I don't want to die," she said. "No, sweetie. You are not getting shot. You are getting a shot." we explained that it was medicine so she wouldn't get sick and that afterwards she would get a Slurpee. That made things sound really good. She was so happy all though her exam as the measured, weighed and poked at her. Then the nurses came in with the shots. We had her lay on the exam table and I held her arms over her head. The whole time she was so happy go lucky. The nurses prepared like they were dismantling a bomb. It was just like that scene in Armegeddon where the dismantle the nuke before the government can blow it up. Each nurse had two needles and a leg, along with cotten swabs and wipes. One nurse even counted down from twenty. Before she got to zero Cutesy Buttons had four shots and bandages on both legs and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I am sure that she was thinking we had betrayed her, but by the time we got to 7-eleven she had calmed down enough to pick out a cherry Slurpee and the world was saved. At least as far as she is concerned.

There's a humpback whale in my back yard!

2008-06-30T01:00:00.000-06:00

It was approaching my son's fifth birthday, so I asked him what he wanted. "A humpback whale," he stated. I sputtered as he gave me a look of full assurance that I would be able to run down to the pet shop and pick one up in little baggie. "Where are you going to keep it," I asked politely. "In the yard." He had obviously given it some thought, but I felt that he lacked some reference to the size of a humpback whale. So I explained that even a small whale would be bigger than our house and it wouldn't fit in the yard. He threw the logic back in my face. "But Dad, we could put it in the back yard."